A thought about expectations.

Last night Paul and I took just Addley and went to the circus. With all these boys around here, we really try our best to try to spend "special" time with each of them as much as we can manage. Just trying to make them each feel as special as they are.

I was in the shower getting ready to go and I had a thought. As I was standing there, I was picturing this totally idealistic idea of what our night was going to be like. Then I began to chastise myself. "You can't expect too much from Addley" "He's going to not want to sit still" "He's going to be afraid" "He's going to be bored"

So I packed up my much lowered expectations and went to the circus.

And boy was I wrong on all counts! Addley really got into it! He had so much fun. He watched attentively. He asked questions. He recognized what was "dangerous" and therefore cool. He sat in his chair and clapped wildly after each performer. He yelled things like "hooray" and "bravo". I have never been so proud of him.

On the way home I started to beat myself up over lowering my expectations to begin with. Why would I be so pessimistic and down on my own kiddo? Sometimes when we least expect it, our kids surprise us. And we see a physical, visual confirmation that we are doing this whole parenting thing right. I needed last night. There are times Addley makes me feel totally overwhelmed. He is a handful even on his best days. But I have hope and belief renewed now that I really am not failing him quite as horribly as I had imagined.