Monday, July 25, 2011
Struggling with being the Mommy today
I have an over eater in my house. Addley would eat all the time if I let him. He drinks alot, he eats alot, he plays alot. We have never been overly concerned with his eating before. Recently though I have begun to worry about him. Paul is a big guy. We have no doubt that Addley is going to be a big guy as well. I'm just trying to walk the line between him being an OK big kid and staying away from truly unhealthy. The problem that we run into is that Addley is quite literally a closet eater. He will sneak into the kitchen and grab food. He then will go sit literally in his closet and eat it. It's not always "bad for you" food. It's just food. I have three kids and I can't keep an eye on the fridge all 24 hours in the day. Paul has asked if we need to lock the pantry and fridge. I don't know if maybe that's going too far. I don't want to give him a complex either. I don't want him to have any bit of self loathing placed from us. He should know that we love him no matter what. But that's hard to do when you're literally wrestling food out of his hands. Today I started with a chart for his eating. He will put a sticker on the chart at breakfast, lunch, dinner and snack times. My only concern with this approach is that he's being "rewarded" for eating...maybe it's going to make it even worse...?? Why didn't these kids come with an instruction manual?? I'm just trying to do my best here and sometimes that just feels so totally inadequate it's not even funny.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
The truth of Harry Potter
Last night Paul and I had a wonderful date night at the movies. We've been to all of the Harry Potter movies from the beginning (sometimes even going for the midnight showing). It's amazing how you can grow to "know" these characters after all this time. We very much enjoyed the movie.
On the way home I began to think about the hidden lessons in the Harry Potter franchise. There are many. Self acceptance, finding yourself, importance of friends and family, etc... But the one I want to talk about right now is love.
The love of a young mother to throw herself in front of her child to save him. The love of a man for a woman who never returned his affections. The love of a child for the parents he never got to know. And the love of that same young boy for the father figures that enter his life.
As a Mother, I know first hand that first love. As I watched this fictional mother lay down her life for her baby boy, I wept. There is no doubt in my mind that I would do the same for any of my beautiful boys. I am a big fan of "me". I always have been. I've been cocky and arrogant and selfish for all of my 36 years on this planet. But there is nothing like the love I feel for these boys that have been given to me.
My favorite character of the whole Harry Potter series is beyond a doubt Severus Snape. To love someone from afar. To want their happiness more than you want your own. This love is a beautiful thing too. I'm sure everyone reading this can relate to having a special person in your life that it just doesn't work out between you. In the best case scenario, you're able to be friends and continue to love and support each other.
We are all given these opportunities every day to make and keep healthy happy relationships in our lives. As hard as it is to cut out the unhealthy ones, sometimes it's just as hard to cultivate the good ones. We are all so busy with jobs, kids, life that it's easy to let the miles come between you. I know for me, I'm going to try to be better about taking care of the special people in my life. They're in my life for a reason.
On the way home I began to think about the hidden lessons in the Harry Potter franchise. There are many. Self acceptance, finding yourself, importance of friends and family, etc... But the one I want to talk about right now is love.
The love of a young mother to throw herself in front of her child to save him. The love of a man for a woman who never returned his affections. The love of a child for the parents he never got to know. And the love of that same young boy for the father figures that enter his life.
As a Mother, I know first hand that first love. As I watched this fictional mother lay down her life for her baby boy, I wept. There is no doubt in my mind that I would do the same for any of my beautiful boys. I am a big fan of "me". I always have been. I've been cocky and arrogant and selfish for all of my 36 years on this planet. But there is nothing like the love I feel for these boys that have been given to me.
My favorite character of the whole Harry Potter series is beyond a doubt Severus Snape. To love someone from afar. To want their happiness more than you want your own. This love is a beautiful thing too. I'm sure everyone reading this can relate to having a special person in your life that it just doesn't work out between you. In the best case scenario, you're able to be friends and continue to love and support each other.
We are all given these opportunities every day to make and keep healthy happy relationships in our lives. As hard as it is to cut out the unhealthy ones, sometimes it's just as hard to cultivate the good ones. We are all so busy with jobs, kids, life that it's easy to let the miles come between you. I know for me, I'm going to try to be better about taking care of the special people in my life. They're in my life for a reason.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
A thought about expectations.
Last night Paul and I took just Addley and went to the circus. With all these boys around here, we really try our best to try to spend "special" time with each of them as much as we can manage. Just trying to make them each feel as special as they are.
I was in the shower getting ready to go and I had a thought. As I was standing there, I was picturing this totally idealistic idea of what our night was going to be like. Then I began to chastise myself. "You can't expect too much from Addley" "He's going to not want to sit still" "He's going to be afraid" "He's going to be bored"
So I packed up my much lowered expectations and went to the circus.
And boy was I wrong on all counts! Addley really got into it! He had so much fun. He watched attentively. He asked questions. He recognized what was "dangerous" and therefore cool. He sat in his chair and clapped wildly after each performer. He yelled things like "hooray" and "bravo". I have never been so proud of him.
On the way home I started to beat myself up over lowering my expectations to begin with. Why would I be so pessimistic and down on my own kiddo? Sometimes when we least expect it, our kids surprise us. And we see a physical, visual confirmation that we are doing this whole parenting thing right. I needed last night. There are times Addley makes me feel totally overwhelmed. He is a handful even on his best days. But I have hope and belief renewed now that I really am not failing him quite as horribly as I had imagined.
I was in the shower getting ready to go and I had a thought. As I was standing there, I was picturing this totally idealistic idea of what our night was going to be like. Then I began to chastise myself. "You can't expect too much from Addley" "He's going to not want to sit still" "He's going to be afraid" "He's going to be bored"
So I packed up my much lowered expectations and went to the circus.
And boy was I wrong on all counts! Addley really got into it! He had so much fun. He watched attentively. He asked questions. He recognized what was "dangerous" and therefore cool. He sat in his chair and clapped wildly after each performer. He yelled things like "hooray" and "bravo". I have never been so proud of him.
On the way home I started to beat myself up over lowering my expectations to begin with. Why would I be so pessimistic and down on my own kiddo? Sometimes when we least expect it, our kids surprise us. And we see a physical, visual confirmation that we are doing this whole parenting thing right. I needed last night. There are times Addley makes me feel totally overwhelmed. He is a handful even on his best days. But I have hope and belief renewed now that I really am not failing him quite as horribly as I had imagined.
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