Last night Paul and I had a wonderful date night at the movies. We've been to all of the Harry Potter movies from the beginning (sometimes even going for the midnight showing). It's amazing how you can grow to "know" these characters after all this time. We very much enjoyed the movie.
On the way home I began to think about the hidden lessons in the Harry Potter franchise. There are many. Self acceptance, finding yourself, importance of friends and family, etc... But the one I want to talk about right now is love.
The love of a young mother to throw herself in front of her child to save him. The love of a man for a woman who never returned his affections. The love of a child for the parents he never got to know. And the love of that same young boy for the father figures that enter his life.
As a Mother, I know first hand that first love. As I watched this fictional mother lay down her life for her baby boy, I wept. There is no doubt in my mind that I would do the same for any of my beautiful boys. I am a big fan of "me". I always have been. I've been cocky and arrogant and selfish for all of my 36 years on this planet. But there is nothing like the love I feel for these boys that have been given to me.
My favorite character of the whole Harry Potter series is beyond a doubt Severus Snape. To love someone from afar. To want their happiness more than you want your own. This love is a beautiful thing too. I'm sure everyone reading this can relate to having a special person in your life that it just doesn't work out between you. In the best case scenario, you're able to be friends and continue to love and support each other.
We are all given these opportunities every day to make and keep healthy happy relationships in our lives. As hard as it is to cut out the unhealthy ones, sometimes it's just as hard to cultivate the good ones. We are all so busy with jobs, kids, life that it's easy to let the miles come between you. I know for me, I'm going to try to be better about taking care of the special people in my life. They're in my life for a reason.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Thursday, July 14, 2011
A thought about expectations.
Last night Paul and I took just Addley and went to the circus. With all these boys around here, we really try our best to try to spend "special" time with each of them as much as we can manage. Just trying to make them each feel as special as they are.
I was in the shower getting ready to go and I had a thought. As I was standing there, I was picturing this totally idealistic idea of what our night was going to be like. Then I began to chastise myself. "You can't expect too much from Addley" "He's going to not want to sit still" "He's going to be afraid" "He's going to be bored"
So I packed up my much lowered expectations and went to the circus.
And boy was I wrong on all counts! Addley really got into it! He had so much fun. He watched attentively. He asked questions. He recognized what was "dangerous" and therefore cool. He sat in his chair and clapped wildly after each performer. He yelled things like "hooray" and "bravo". I have never been so proud of him.
On the way home I started to beat myself up over lowering my expectations to begin with. Why would I be so pessimistic and down on my own kiddo? Sometimes when we least expect it, our kids surprise us. And we see a physical, visual confirmation that we are doing this whole parenting thing right. I needed last night. There are times Addley makes me feel totally overwhelmed. He is a handful even on his best days. But I have hope and belief renewed now that I really am not failing him quite as horribly as I had imagined.
I was in the shower getting ready to go and I had a thought. As I was standing there, I was picturing this totally idealistic idea of what our night was going to be like. Then I began to chastise myself. "You can't expect too much from Addley" "He's going to not want to sit still" "He's going to be afraid" "He's going to be bored"
So I packed up my much lowered expectations and went to the circus.
And boy was I wrong on all counts! Addley really got into it! He had so much fun. He watched attentively. He asked questions. He recognized what was "dangerous" and therefore cool. He sat in his chair and clapped wildly after each performer. He yelled things like "hooray" and "bravo". I have never been so proud of him.
On the way home I started to beat myself up over lowering my expectations to begin with. Why would I be so pessimistic and down on my own kiddo? Sometimes when we least expect it, our kids surprise us. And we see a physical, visual confirmation that we are doing this whole parenting thing right. I needed last night. There are times Addley makes me feel totally overwhelmed. He is a handful even on his best days. But I have hope and belief renewed now that I really am not failing him quite as horribly as I had imagined.
Monday, July 11, 2011
My heart is breaking
I have the most wonderful best friend in the world.
Sara is more than a friend, she is my sister. We have been through hell and high water and then some together. I love her so very much. Five years ago she gave me the most precious gift in the form of my Godson Gabriel.
Today Sara gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She is gorgeous, and perfect, and 1000 miles away.
I don't get homesick as much as I used to. But today is so hard. I have been sitting here looking at her picture just crying. I want to be there to hold her. I want to be there to take care of Sara. I want to be there to hug Gabe and let him know he's still my special little man. But I'm 1000 miles away. For all the advances in technology that keep us "connected", there is nothing like being there in the flesh. How do you send your love from so far away? Is it even possible to have a real connection with people that are so far away? How can I make the ones I love back home know how much I miss them and think of them. I am doing the best I can out here in Texas. There are times I'm not miserable at all here. But then there are days like today.....
Sara is more than a friend, she is my sister. We have been through hell and high water and then some together. I love her so very much. Five years ago she gave me the most precious gift in the form of my Godson Gabriel.
Today Sara gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She is gorgeous, and perfect, and 1000 miles away.
I don't get homesick as much as I used to. But today is so hard. I have been sitting here looking at her picture just crying. I want to be there to hold her. I want to be there to take care of Sara. I want to be there to hug Gabe and let him know he's still my special little man. But I'm 1000 miles away. For all the advances in technology that keep us "connected", there is nothing like being there in the flesh. How do you send your love from so far away? Is it even possible to have a real connection with people that are so far away? How can I make the ones I love back home know how much I miss them and think of them. I am doing the best I can out here in Texas. There are times I'm not miserable at all here. But then there are days like today.....
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