Settling in to the quiet routine

      We are officially on week 2 of the school year!! No one has died or been maimed so far. As much as I don't enjoy the early morning rushing around, it's been so nice to get to know my baby Liam in this brand new way. After I get Evan and Addley off to school, and Paul off to work; I have this wonderful day of possibilities with Liam. At first I was overcome with a sadness at the quiet in my house. Now I'm learning to savor it. I have been able to read again during the day while he naps. It's really a wonderful thing. That being said..I sure do miss Addley!! It's amazing how much life he brings to a room just by stepping in it. He's having a little bit of trouble settling in to being quiet for his teacher (imagine that!). Paul and I actually have our first parent teacher conference tomorrow. I am really hoping this isn't going to be a "he needs to be on drugs" conversation so early in the year. I'm hoping that they will be willing to let him try to get accustomed to what is expected of him. I will always be on "Addley's side" and trying to balance that with figuring out the best thing for him is not always easy.
      I am still in awe that Evan is in high school. He has settled in better than I could have ever dared to dream. He is so smart. I am beginning to see the flicker of ambition in him. He has a plan to go to Med school. I am hoping that he can continue on the path that will take him there. Every single day I am thankful that he is mine. He is funny and kind and loving (and stubborn, smart-mouthed and opinionated). He is truly one of the best parts of me. I'm so far beyond proud of him.
       As I'm writing this, Liam has put himself into Arwen's dog cage. He's very happy there. He makes me laugh. It's amazing how a child at the age of 1 can have a sense of humor like he does. He knows when he's being cute and when he does something funny. He expects applause and praise. (I can't imagine where he gets THAT!)
      I am so beyond blessed. I know people say that everyday. But I mean it. I am thankful for my husband that works so hard for us. I am thankful for each of my boys, as a group and as individuals. I am thankful for our home and our dog and our extremely happy existence.

Struggling with being the Mommy today

I have an over eater in my house. Addley would eat all the time if I let him. He drinks alot, he eats alot, he plays alot. We have never been overly concerned with his eating before. Recently though I have begun to worry about him. Paul is a big guy. We have no doubt that Addley is going to be a big guy as well. I'm just trying to walk the line between him being an OK big kid and staying away from truly unhealthy. The problem that we run into is that Addley is quite literally a closet eater. He will sneak into the kitchen and grab food. He then will go sit literally in his closet and eat it. It's not always "bad for you" food. It's just food. I have three kids and I can't keep an eye on the fridge all 24 hours in the day. Paul has asked if we need to lock the pantry and fridge. I don't know if maybe that's going too far. I don't want to give him a complex either. I don't want him to have any bit of self loathing placed from us. He should know that we love him no matter what. But that's hard to do when you're literally wrestling food out of his hands. Today I started with a chart for his eating. He will put a sticker on the chart at breakfast, lunch, dinner and snack times. My only concern with this approach is that he's being "rewarded" for eating...maybe it's going to make it even worse...?? Why didn't these kids come with an instruction manual?? I'm just trying to do my best here and sometimes that just feels so totally inadequate it's not even funny.

The truth of Harry Potter

Last night Paul and I had a wonderful date night at the movies. We've been to all of the Harry Potter movies from the beginning (sometimes even going for the midnight showing). It's amazing how you can grow to "know" these characters after all this time. We very much enjoyed the movie.

On the way home I began to think about the hidden lessons in the Harry Potter franchise. There are many. Self acceptance, finding yourself, importance of friends and family, etc... But the one I want to talk about right now is love.

The love of a young mother to throw herself in front of her child to save him. The love of a man for a woman who never returned his affections. The love of a child for the parents he never got to know. And the love of that same young boy for the father figures that enter his life.

As a Mother, I know first hand that first love. As I watched this fictional mother lay down her life for her baby boy, I wept. There is no doubt in my mind that I would do the same for any of my beautiful boys. I am a big fan of "me". I always have been. I've been cocky and arrogant and selfish for all of my 36 years on this planet. But there is nothing like the love I feel for these boys that have been given to me.

My favorite character of the whole Harry Potter series is beyond a doubt Severus Snape. To love someone from afar. To want their happiness more than you want your own. This love is a beautiful thing too. I'm sure everyone reading this can relate to having a special person in your life that it just doesn't work out between you. In the best case scenario, you're able to be friends and continue to love and support each other.

We are all given these opportunities every day to make and keep healthy happy relationships in our lives. As hard as it is to cut out the unhealthy ones, sometimes it's just as hard to cultivate the good ones. We are all so busy with jobs, kids, life that it's easy to let the miles come between you. I know for me, I'm going to try to be better about taking care of the special people in my life. They're in my life for a reason.